Sunday, June 18, 2017

Fathers' Day....part musing...part blabbering...

Like every other evening, he sprung the door open, and casting a rehearsed smile my way, darted his eyes to meet the kid’s, who was sitting in a wreckage of toys and blocks, lost, squinting at a piece of paper. Surprising her from the back, he grabbed her by her shoulder and tossed her up, her few seconds’ shock broke into irresistible giggles while the pleased father laughed and kissed and broke into childish gibberish. Then suddenly, without moving his eyes from the kid, he said, “Today is Fathers’ Day it seems.”

At this utterance, me, the clueless, hapless wife, marveling at my ill-knowledge, said a hasty sorry (evidently guilty for slacking so bad), and really meant it. If not anything a cake could still have been managed. One of those up-my-alleys lately, now that finally I am close to calling myself a pro-level oven operator. But how did I forget? Actually, how did I not even know? I had no clue! It’s strange how even social media managed to mask it this time. I came across barely a simmering of celebration here and there (that too without any clarity on the date), vis-a-vis the full-blown ones around Mother’s day. Good Lord! Do I even need to remind you of the mad euphoria? Then why do the Fathers’ Day not match up to the same levels of excitement? I could be wrong here, or my social media scurrying could have been particularly abysmal today, but I still think Fathers’ Day celebration is a rather low-key affair, would you agree? Whereas, mothers are celebrated twice (British and American dates), and the opportunist fence sitters like me, who are neither here nor there, or over both, never shy to lap them up both. But then it is not entirely true. Infact, the kid’s dad, to redeem me of my guilt, responding to my sorry, said, “but we didn’t do anything for your day too.” And he was right. But, why didn’t we? As these thoughts lingered and the tea in the kettle next to me bubbled away, I lifted my phone out of habit and while soaking some social media, summoned who else but Google guru(since I was not entirely convinced about the date).....and there! I was right! Fathers’ Day was still a day away! Not being able to decide whether to take the husband up for the false alarm or to thank my luck, we sat down with mugs of tea, and my mind drifted to what could be done on the day...


But not before I tell you why Mothers’ Day was also...well...nothing extraordinary. Especially when every second advertisement that runs across our screens yell about some spread, some wine, and fine dine, staycations and sales and discounts and what have you.....May be because I am permanently fatigued, and distracted, or both, and any form of outing that requires me to bother about my messy bun is well....bothersome. Following which the thought of the whole deal of painstakingly picking a place, then making reservations, and then dress up, then dress the kid and once at the table after finally claiming it, the heaving high chair bearing the weight of a particularly restless toddler, then the scanning through the menu and ordering in as less time as possible, one eye fixed on the kid, after having wiped off the cutleries from her sight, then a spill here, a splatter there, and then a brazen cry.... the list goes on. So Yes. That’s why. That’s exactly why the food invariably gets ordered and delivered at home, and if they do not deliver, we climb in the car, in barely respectable clothes, strapping the kid, off we go and bring Chinese food from dodgy places that tastes just as fabulous, and once home, we ravenously wolf it down in minutes. I like this kind of Mothers’ Day - when I am truly grateful for everything but can so do not celebrating it in a way that makes me feel bad about my destressed hair, by choppy make-up, my ill-fitting dress... One might say but isn’t that the whole point? Of giving yourself the much-deserved pampering and break? I suppose it is, but as far as I go, even that would have to wait for the time being.

Then what do I do for my parents on these occasions you ask? Well, I am hardly the kind who wears her emotions on sleeve. I am taciturn that way, emotionally. Keeping true to the early 90’s kid’s existence on whom importance of such days are...kind of lost, I barely manage to send a shy ‘Happy Mothers’/Fathers’ Day’ message, striking just the right balance between genuine and cheesy. To which they, I would imagine, break into a smile, and push a ‘thank you’, complimenting my terseness, but the emotion never failing to get delivered.  No cakes, no flowers, no hotel and restaurant reservations, I mean there’s no harm, I don’t turn up my nose to it, but minimal is good, comfort is key. And luckily the partner in crime, shares just the equal degree of nonchalance when it comes to such occasions, totally living up to my expectations. So I am guessing it will have to be a Korean to-go tonight then, something highly pleasing to his taste buds, and just a heartfelt thank you may be, not in words, ofcourse not, just in smiles and sighs....






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